Okay, so let’s just acknowledge the elephant in the room.
I didn’t blog yesterday.
Look, people – I am an infant. I cannot possibly be expected to accomplish all that’s required of me on a daily basis, what with the constant growing, needing to be fed, sleeping, and other requirements placed on people of my size. And now you want me to blog for 31 days straight?
Absurd.
In fact, I decided that yesterday was going to be a party day, and I refused sleep most of the day, which the parental units loved, of course, because it meant they got to see my eyes all day. I could tell they loved it by the way they sighed contentedly each time they picked me up and rocked me.
THEY WERE SO HAPPY!
I had to give up the fight around 6:00 last night, though, when dad held me tight against his chest. I’m not sure what kind of aftershave he uses, but it is like a drug. I am powerless against it’s scent, and it sends me straight into slumber every time he holds me like that. It’s really not a fair fight, if you think about it.
Mom-lady woke me up at 8:00 to feed me, because apparently she is fearful that my growling stomach will interrupt her “beauty sleep.” Heh…
Incidentally, what is this business about “nothing good happening after midnight?” That’s a lie! There’s some serious partying to be done in those dark, nighttime hours. It just so happens that I love the 3:15-5:00 hours. Mom-lady might as well throw on some party tunes and grab her Red Solo Cup, because I’m here to have a good time, baby!
Sadly, she tired of our middle of the night party and laid me down while I was still wide awake, and she left me there…SWADDLED! With my arms pinned to my side like some crazy person in a straight jacket.
S’okay.
I finished the party on my own, and she got to watch me live it up on the monitor. I didn’t give up the fight until my older brothers and sister got up for breakfast, and mom-lady dragged herself from bed to go feed them.
I win again… (maniacal laugh)
This month, I’m linking up with The Nester for this 31 Day series as I survive the newborn haze of sleepless nights, endless nursing, and squeezing in life in twenty minute increments throughout the day. If you want to receive the posts directly in your email inbox, just leave your email address in the box on the sidebar, and subscribe so you don’t miss a post!
I’ll share photos every day, some of them good, and some of them mediocre, because baby leaves me little time to worry about taking and editing the perfect photos.
I’ll also be sharing my daughter’s thoughts, as dictated to me telepathically while she nurses, because she has informed me that she is a mind ninja, and I am merely her portal to the outside world.
Waking up starving, and having to endure everyone laughing at you instead of feeding you.
Not cool.
This month, I’m linking up with The Nester for this 31 Day series as I survive the newborn haze of sleepless nights, endless nursing, and squeezing in life in twenty minute increments throughout the day. If you want to receive the posts directly in your email inbox, just leave your email address in the box on the sidebar, and subscribe so you don’t miss a post!
I’ll share photos every day, some of them good, and some of them mediocre, because baby leaves me little time to worry about taking and editing the perfect photos.
I’ll also be sharing my daughter’s thoughts, as dictated to me telepathically while she nurses, because she has informed me that she is a mind ninja, and I am merely her portal to the outside world.
watched slept through a gymnastics practice, and two soccer games.
I went to a friend’s house for dinner,
and to church.
Then I attended my first tea party, after which I sunbathed slept in the shade by the pool at my grandmother’s condo.
This is me, silently praying they don’t dunk me in that ice water again…
PEOPLE!
I’m exhausted.
This month, I’m linking up with The Nester for this 31 Day series as I survive the newborn haze of sleepless nights, endless nursing, and squeezing in life in twenty minute increments throughout the day. If you want to receive the posts directly in your email inbox, just leave your email address in the box on the sidebar, and subscribe so you don’t miss a post!
I’ll share photos every day, some of them good, and some of them mediocre, because baby leaves me little time to worry about taking and editing the perfect photos.
I’ll also be sharing my daughter’s thoughts, as dictated to me telepathically while she nurses, because she has informed me that she is a mind ninja, and I am merely her portal to the outside world.
You people act like it’s fun, but I don’t get it. You get blazing hot in the sun, which is so bright you need glasses to protect your eyes. Then, just when your skin feels like it’s going to melt off your bones, you jump in a pool of cold water, and you laugh and call this vacation.
You know what’s vacation?
Staying in a temperature regulated room and sleeping, then waking up to be fed before going back to sleep. That’s fun.
Staying cozy against your mom’s chest.
That’s fun.That’s a vacation.
If you aren’t doing those things, then you aren’t on vacation.
All this to say – I didn’t enjoy my first dip in the pool. And I let the family unit know just how not fun that experience was for me.
This month, I’m linking up with The Nester for this 31 Day series as I survive the newborn haze of sleepless nights, endless nursing, and squeezing in life in twenty minute increments throughout the day. If you want to receive the posts directly in your email inbox, just leave your email address in the box on the sidebar, and subscribe so you don’t miss a post!
I’ll share photos every day, some of them good, and some of them mediocre, because baby leaves me little time to worry about taking and editing the perfect photos.
I’ll also be sharing my daughter’s thoughts, as dictated to me telepathically while she nurses, because she has informed me that she is a mind ninja, and I am merely her portal to the outside world.
Did you know that it’s important to…expel waste from your body?
I’m not going to use that other word for it…you know, the word that rhymes with loop? I’m much too proper of a lady to discuss such a matter publicly. I’m a hip and classy baby, indeed.
Anyway, moving on.
If you do not expel waste in a manner that makes the grown up people around you happy, they will…do things to you. Things like feed you prune juice, or worse – suppositories.
Then they’ll sit and wait for stuff to start happening, and when it does they gag and talk about how gross it is, and you want to scream, YOU DID THIS TO ME YOU CRAZY PEOPLE!
Instead, you just get them back by expelling the waste right out of your diaper and up your back.
Yes, it is gross.
It is my most powerful weapon.
This month, I’m linking up with The Nester for this 31 Day series as I survive the newborn haze of sleepless nights, endless nursing, and squeezing in life in twenty minute increments throughout the day. If you want to receive the posts directly in your email inbox, just leave your email address in the box on the sidebar, and subscribe so you don’t miss a post!
I’ll share photos every day, some of them good, and some of them mediocre, because baby leaves me little time to worry about taking and editing the perfect photos.
I’ll also be sharing my daughter’s thoughts, as dictated to me telepathically while she nurses, because she has informed me that she is a mind ninja, and I am merely her portal to the outside world.
