Did you know that it’s important to…expel waste from your body?
I’m not going to use that other word for it…you know, the word that rhymes with loop? I’m much too proper of a lady to discuss such a matter publicly. I’m a hip and classy baby, indeed.
Anyway, moving on.
If you do not expel waste in a manner that makes the grown up people around you happy, they will…do things to you. Things like feed you prune juice, or worse – suppositories.
Then they’ll sit and wait for stuff to start happening, and when it does they gag and talk about how gross it is, and you want to scream, YOU DID THIS TO ME YOU CRAZY PEOPLE!
Instead, you just get them back by expelling the waste right out of your diaper and up your back.
Yes, it is gross.
It is my most powerful weapon.
This month, I’m linking up with The Nester for this 31 Day series as I survive the newborn haze of sleepless nights, endless nursing, and squeezing in life in twenty minute increments throughout the day. If you want to receive the posts directly in your email inbox, just leave your email address in the box on the sidebar, and subscribe so you don’t miss a post!
I’ll share photos every day, some of them good, and some of them mediocre, because baby leaves me little time to worry about taking and editing the perfect photos.
I’ll also be sharing my daughter’s thoughts, as dictated to me telepathically while she nurses, because she has informed me that she is a mind ninja, and I am merely her portal to the outside world.
Her words, not mine.
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