I am not a curse word kind of girl. I know that there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, some would actually laud that as a good thing, and it is. I’ve told my kids that curse words are really just lazy words. We can always find a better word to describe how we’re feeling without dropping a four letter word.
Unless we can’t.
A few nights ago, Annika woke up at 12:30. I had been asleep for about an hour and a half when she woke, and my sleep was good. It was that heavy, REM-style sleep that makes you feel kind of magical.
I was tired down to my bones, so when she woke up in a full out scream, I leapt from bed, heart racing, and the first word out of my mouth was a lazy, four-letter word. So unlike me, but in the moment I could think of nothing else to say. And after my heart stopped racing, I fed her and got her back to bed only to hear Lee chuckling beside me.
“That was funny,” he laughed in the darkness.
I was too tired to elbow him in the chin.
Knee-jerk reactions tend to bring out the worst in all of us, don’t they? When we’re surprised or frightened or quickly angered, we find ourselves reacting in a way that may be atypical to our normal operating behavior. When I put Annika to bed that night, I planned for her to sleep all night. I didn’t plan on her scooting into the corner of her bed, bumping her head, and waking herself up in a wail.
What do we do when life doesn’t go quite as planned? How do we react? My vocabulary indiscretion is a lighthearted example, but all of us can point to moments in our daily lives that leave us weary, exasperated…perhaps a little loose-tongued?
It’s exhausting being mom. It’s exhausting hearing how exhausting it is being mom, as I right? But the good news is there is Hope. There’s hope for all of us, and that Hope is alive even at one in the morning when the baby won’t stop crying.
That Hope is alive when the children threaten to tear one another’s eyes out. (Well, Hope and the belief that someday they will grow up and maybe be friends again…or at least be tolerable to one another.)
That Hope is alive when the dinner burns, the car breaks down, and the schedules require one person to accomplish the tasks of six.
Even more – Hope is alive when life doesn’t go as you planned. And this…this is the true beauty of Hope.
It’s been two and a half months since we said our final goodbyes to my father-in-law. As the days stretch into weeks, we’ve begun to really gnaw on the permanence of death, and there have been moments when we wished with everything we had that the outcome of his cancer battle had been different.
But then I think of Herb standing at the foot of his Savior, and I remember that if he were asked to return, he wouldn’t want to, and really I wouldn’t ever ask him. Because in that trust I find so much Hope.
There are so many moments in life that make us feel hopeless. The swell of our days rushes over like a tide, and we’re left out of breath, frustrated, and utterly, completely spent.
But Hope.
If you’re bogged down by the mire of your days, feeling hopeless to dig out from under the rush of routine, of anger, of disappointment, of grief, of simply feeling overwhelmed, then I encourage you to pick up the book Hope for the Weary Mom.
There is so much grace and truth sprinkled throughout this book. It’s like a breath of fresh air in a smoky room. Each page is filled with nuggets of wisdom and peace that you can tuck into your heart, saving them for the moments when life gets to be a little too much.
(And maybe these truths will spill out of your mouths my mouth in times of frustration instead of those pesky four letter words.)
Right around this time last year, I was suffering from the side effects of the first trimester. I was tired, crabby, nauseous, and I had a terrible cold that I couldn’t medicate because of the pregnancy.
In short, I was miserable.
It was the perfect time to give Essential Oils a try. I signed up tentatively as an Independent Product Consultant, not so much to build a business, but rather to get the oils at a discount. But I’ll be honest – I was a total skeptic.
While I do see the value in treating our bodies holistically as often as possible, I also see the value in taking medication when necessary.
When I started using EO’s, I stuck with the three basics: Lavender, Lemon and Peppermint. Those are like the musical chords G, C, D – they can be combined in any variety of manner to make a song (or make you feel better).
As time went on, I branched out a bit. I got Wild Orange because it just sounded yummy, and On Guard for the health benefits it provided. And from there my collection slowly began to build.
I can now say that I use a variety of oils every single day, but I’m still not what you might call a die hard. I fall more into the moderate camp these days. I do not believe that oils will heal every ailment that afflicts us. Do they help? Yes. Sometimes a little and sometimes a lot.
But I don’t use them for everything.
For example, oils do nothing for my migraines. I’ve tried every combination imaginable, and when my head feels like it’s splitting in two the only cure is a hefty dose of Ibuprofen. It is what it is.
So with that lengthy thorough introduction, I hereby give you my Slacker’s Guide to Essential Oils
1.) Find the oils you like and stick with them
It’s okay if you prefer to use the same oils over and over. When I was pregnant, I used a few different oils than I do now, and I do believe they were effective. Let’s just say that I delivered an 8 pound baby without a single tear, and I’m fully convinced it was because of the oils I used.
I also firmly believe that my liberal use of On Guard after Landon had the stomach flu is the reason that no one else ended up with the bug. And when Annika was sick with a cold, I applied On Guard, Breathe, and Lavender multiple times a day, and she cleared up within two days.
Those instances alone made me a believer.
2.) Be wise with when and how you use the oils
Do your research before you start ingesting or applying oils on yourself or your family members. Make sure you’re using them safely and effectively. They seem harmless enough, but if not used properly they can cause some damage.
Some oils are “hot,” meaning they should be diluted before applying to the skin, especially for young children. Know which oils are safe for kids, and which should be avoided, and if you’re pregnant talk with your doctor or midwife before you begin using oils.
3.) Use good judgement
Essential Oils aren’t good for every single ailment or occasion, despite what some people may try to tell you. Use good judgment to know when you need to take medicine, and let your oils support the medications in those cases.
4.) It’s Okay
If you only want to use EO’s sparingly, that is okay. You don’t have to get caught up in the world of using them at all times for all things. For me, it’s just not possible to keep up with all of that. I use the ones that are the most convenient for me and my family. And I don’t even use them all the time, because I forget.
This is why I’m a slacker.
In the end, I do think that Essential Oils are a worthy investment. The more that we can treat our bodies naturally, the better, and using oils which have been used to treat and heal illnesses for thousands of years makes perfect holistic sense.
In addition to the health benefits, you’ll find that oils have the potential to lift your mood, help you sleep better, improve your complexion, and they make your house smell yummy.
So even a slacker can win with Essential Oils.
(If you want to know how to get Essential Oils at a discount, let me know and I can get you some information!)
A List of my Top Ten Essential Oils:
Lavender:
Good for relaxation and mood calming
Melaleuca:
Excellent for the skin – I use it every day. Can also be added to shampoo to prevent lice (kind of a big deal if you have small children.)
Frankincense:
Also great for your skin (although I don’t care for the smell). This oil is known for its cellular renewal properties. Lee drinks a glass of water with a couple of drops of Frank every day.
On Guard:
Excellent for obliterating germs. Has been scientifically proven to kill even the MRSA virus. Can be rubbed on the body, ingest or defused. And it smells delicious!
Peppermint:
Smells good and opens up the sinuses. Can help with headaches, and is an energy booster.
Wild Orange:
Just yum. I put a few drops in my water for flavor, and it’s an energy booster. I love defusing Wild Orange and On Guard together. They make my house smell fabulous. (Tip: Put two drops each of Wild Orange, Frankincense, and Peppermint in your hands and rub them together, then inhale deep. It opens up your sinuses, and gives a huge boost of energy).
Deep Blue:
A necessity if you have athletes in your house. Really helps with muscle soreness.
Breathe:
Excellent for when you’re stuffed up. It’s the purest mentholated rub you can put on your skin, and it helps to defuse in the room of a sick kiddo.
Lemon:
Great health benefits. Helps with weight loss. Can be used in cooking, or in drinks. Refreshing and light.
Slim and Sassy:
This oil is beneficial to weight loss as it helps curb your appetite. And it tastes good! (Like cinnamon!)
We are coming down off the mountain of Spring Break this week. It’s been a truly lovely week together as a family, and I’m grateful for every moment of it.
I’m also grateful for the return of our routine.
One of the things Lee and I are working on is living life with intentionality. We have a lot of goals for our family – things we’d like to do and experience with the kids while they’re all living under our roof.
Unfortunately, neither one of us are planners, so we tend to fly by the seat of our pants more often than not, and life is screaming forward full speed ahead. I’m starting to feel like we’re going to miss it.
We have eight summer vacations left before Sloan goes to college.
E-I-G-H-T
Just typing that makes my heart nearly burst with trepidation. I don’t want to miss a single opportunity to make memories with my kids, because the time is so short, and it goes by so quickly.
So we made a plan this year for Spring Break. Rather than sit around the house and kill brain cells watching the Disney Channel, we booked a few nights away in St. Augustine.
We ate too much, laughed a lot, broke up fights (apparently vacation is not a magic formula for keeping the smaller people from tearing each other’s eyes out), and simply enjoyed being together as a family.
And now it’s time to go back to school.
Vacation is fun, but so is routine. The return of routine is necessary to maintaining the peace and order inside the home. In the absence of routine, the natives become restless. And in the presence of all that togetherness, restlessness leads to mutiny.
I always have these fantastical ideas of what family together time should look like. And, indeed, most of the time our togetherness truly is fantastical. This past week, despite the arguments and the little sleep, we had a grand time. But was it fantastical all the time? Well, if you follow me on Facebook, you might think it was. But the truth?
All that togetherness was actually exhausting. It was a happy, poured out sort of exhaustion.
I returned home from St. Augustine feeling tired in a way that words can’t really describe. It was a down deep in my bones sort of tired; an I’m-gonna-need-you-people-to-give-me-some-space sort of fatigue.
Here’s the thing, though. I don’t take pictures of those crazy moments when taking a family vacation seemed like a bad idea. I’m not going to take and post a picture of my children having a knock down, drag out fight. I won’t post video of the multiple times Annika woke through the night because the room was cold, and the Pack ‘n Play uncomfortable.
I don’t talk openly about the rickety pull out couch I had to sleep on so I could be near the baby, while Lee had to try to sleep with a child who flails violently when she slumbers.
And I definitely didn’t photograph the moment a glass got broken in the hotel room because people were fighting…again.
Those things happened. The few days were exhausting.But the fun outweighed the challenges. There was more laughter than there were tears. We were happy to be in one another’s presence more than we weren’t.
That’s what it’s like being part of a family. You love one another fully in the fun times. You tolerate one another in the challenging times. And you document the smiles and the laughter, so at the end of the day when those children leave the house and head to college, they can look back on the photos and remember the good times above all else.
Unless they read this blog post, the kids probably won’t remember the broken glass, the tears of fatigue, or that moment when one of them climbed on top of the wall at the top of the Castillo de San Marcos, and I yelled in horror for him to get down prompting tears of embarrassment for yelling in front of all those people.
(Sorry again, kiddo. Mom panicked when she pictured you plummeting over the side to your death. Some day you’ll understand.)
With any luck, our kids will look back on Spring Break 2015 and they will remember only the laughter. It will have been the best, greatest, most fun time we’ve had as a family. Because that’s the story that the pictures tell.
The photos document the majority, and they shape the memories. Through them all the stress of family trips will fade away, leaving the good times highlighted.
I crawled out of bed early this morning. Not by choice, of course. My covers were warm, and after spending three nights on a rickety pull out couch in a hotel, I wanted to stay nestled on my cottony mattress forever.
Forever and ever.
But the seven year old had nightmares, and just as I drifted back to sleep the baby woke up demanding food, and it became apparent that more sleep was a luxury I would not be afforded.
So I made my way to the coffee pot, and now I sit here in front of my computer. It’s so quiet, and it’s still dark outside. It feels like the entire world is still. As much as I wanted a couple more hours of sleep, I must confess – this is my happy place.
This is the place where the Lord meets me – where He whispers peace in my always swirling heart.
This is the place when words wash over me, and sometimes they even flow out of me.
This is the place where I chase my goals – where I chip away at a dream just a little bit more.
There are a lot of stories out there of people who find success almost by accident. They were blogging for fun, or to get through a difficult time, and they were noticed and suddenly there was a book deal that they never asked for!
It seems like my Facebook feed has been filled with such stories lately, and they’re good stories. I like to read them. And yet…
There’s a part of me that wonders if maybe I’ve just wanted this too much. Maybe if I just quit wanting it so bad, then the publishing contracts would roll in. Because aren’t accidental success stories so fun to read?
“I didn’t want this. I wasn’t looking for it or pursuing it!” People say these things and I smile because I’m excited for them. But also, my heart cringes a little because I do want this. It’s why I’m working so hard.
This is why the quiet spaces are so important, because it’s here in the quiet when I’m reminded that the toil is a gift, and the wanting is okay.
“He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end. I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one’s lifetime; moreover, that every man who eats and drinks sees good in all his labor—it is the gift of God.” Ecclesiastes 3:11-13
There is good to be found in the discipline of rising early to toil away at your goals and dreams. In the quiet dark, while the house is still, your hands move and your heart sings because this is your time. This is the gift.
Friends, the message is simply this: The time spent working and laboring, creeping your way toward a goal, is a good thing. You do not labor in vain, and the difficulty is a gift.
It’s okay to dream, and it’s okay to chase those dreams. Your story isn’t diminished by years of toil. Though it sounds romantic and poetic to somehow accidentally stumble into success, the truth is there is so much beauty in the toil.
Are you working toward a goal? Do you feel like you’re laboring in vain? I assure you, you’re not. It’s okay to want to see the fruition of your hard work. It’s okay to chase after your dream, whatever that may look like for you. It’s okay to want it.
My brain is always going. Every moment of the day is spent watching and imagining. I see strangers on the street, and I immediately imagine their background. Characters come to life in the personalities that pass me on the sidewalk.
Observation is both the blessing and the curse placed squarely upon the writer’s shoulders.
We don’t just see the flower, we see the petals – and they dance.
We don’t just see the person, we see the way her hair floats in the breeze, or the wisdom in the lines that fan out from the corners of his eyes.
We hear the song of the birds, and the magic in a laugh that cuts through the air like the like a happy melody.
And when we stop to think about God Himself – well, the image cannot possibly be written in bulleted form. It’s a poem, because God isn’t abstract in the mind of a writer. He is the vibrant orange of the sunset. He’s the rumble of thunder, and the gentle whisper in a breeze. He’s the highest peak, and the lowest valley. He is the soft whir of a hummingbird’s wings, and he is the power behind a lion’s roar.
He is all the color and all the music, and He’s hidden in the laughter of the smallest of babies.
This is what it’s like inside the mind of a writer.
It can, at times, be utterly exhausting.
I am currently enjoying a week away with my family, and the people watching is superb. How anyone makes it through this life without observing the personalities around them is beyond me.
