Mom-lady fed me quickly this morning. I should have known something was up the way she was rushing me through my morning routine. I thought it was maybe because she wanted to hang out with me and look lovingly into my eyes.
Turns out she just wanted to take me on errands.
She took me to some place known as Target. She made a big fuss about how I would one day grow to love this mega-store, what with it’s bright lights, pretty colors, and soothing aroma of all things pretty.
Mom-lady needed a reminder on the drive to the store, and my persistence in screaming paid off because when we arrived, she picked me up and held me while we picked up the necessary items from the “holy land,” as mom-lady referred to the store on and off. Some of the items she had to retrieve?
Actual pumpkins, which are as lovely and sweet as they sound like they would be. So why, again, is my torture chamber car seat called a “pumpkin seat” again? These are curious matters to me.
Incidentally, I quickly fell asleep in mom-lady’s arms while we shopped the store.
Turns out Target is a lovely place, indeed.
This month, I’m linking up with The Nesterfor this 31 Day series as I survive the newborn haze of sleepless nights, endless nursing, and squeezing in life in twenty minute increments throughout the day. If you want to receive the posts directly in your email inbox, just leave your email address in the box on the sidebar, and subscribe so you don’t miss a post!
I’ll share photos every day, some of them good, and some of them mediocre, because baby leaves me little time to worry about taking and editing the perfect photos.
I’ll also be sharing my daughter’s thoughts, as dictated to me telepathically while she nurses, because she has informed me that she is a mind ninja, and I am merely her portal to the outside world.
To celebrate, mom-lady took me to the doctor yesterday and let them shove a sharp needle into my thigh.
She needs to work on her party planning skills.
I have better plans to celebrate the 30 days since my birth. I am taking my first airplane ride. I’m braving the elements, and all that is in this big, bad world so that I can have an adventure. I’m bringing mom-lady along for the ride because I’m generous like that.
Mom-lady and I are headed to the Allume conference. I’ll try to blog while I’m there, but you know…I’ll be busy hobnobbing with all the blogger ladies. They’ll probably want to know all my secrets to becoming such a successful blogger at such a young age.
I plan to “Allume-inate them.”
See what I did there?
I’m so stinking clever, it’s scary.
This month, I’m linking up with The Nester for this 31 Day series as I survive the newborn haze of sleepless nights, endless nursing, and squeezing in life in twenty minute increments throughout the day. If you want to receive the posts directly in your email inbox, just leave your email address in the box on the sidebar, and subscribe so you don’t miss a post!
I’ll share photos every day, some of them good, and some of them mediocre, because baby leaves me little time to worry about taking and editing the perfect photos.
I’ll also be sharing my daughter’s thoughts, as dictated to me telepathically while she nurses, because she has informed me that she is a mind ninja, and I am merely her portal to the outside world.
Okay, so let’s just acknowledge the elephant in the room.
I didn’t blog yesterday.
Look, people – I am an infant. I cannot possibly be expected to accomplish all that’s required of me on a daily basis, what with the constant growing, needing to be fed, sleeping, and other requirements placed on people of my size. And now you want me to blog for 31 days straight?
Absurd.
In fact, I decided that yesterday was going to be a party day, and I refused sleep most of the day, which the parental units loved, of course, because it meant they got to see my eyes all day. I could tell they loved it by the way they sighed contentedly each time they picked me up and rocked me.
THEY WERE SO HAPPY!
I had to give up the fight around 6:00 last night, though, when dad held me tight against his chest. I’m not sure what kind of aftershave he uses, but it is like a drug. I am powerless against it’s scent, and it sends me straight into slumber every time he holds me like that. It’s really not a fair fight, if you think about it.
Mom-lady woke me up at 8:00 to feed me, because apparently she is fearful that my growling stomach will interrupt her “beauty sleep.” Heh…
Incidentally, what is this business about “nothing good happening after midnight?” That’s a lie! There’s some serious partying to be done in those dark, nighttime hours. It just so happens that I love the 3:15-5:00 hours. Mom-lady might as well throw on some party tunes and grab her Red Solo Cup, because I’m here to have a good time, baby!
Sadly, she tired of our middle of the night party and laid me down while I was still wide awake, and she left me there…SWADDLED! With my arms pinned to my side like some crazy person in a straight jacket.
S’okay.
I finished the party on my own, and she got to watch me live it up on the monitor. I didn’t give up the fight until my older brothers and sister got up for breakfast, and mom-lady dragged herself from bed to go feed them.
I win again… (maniacal laugh)
This month, I’m linking up with The Nester for this 31 Day series as I survive the newborn haze of sleepless nights, endless nursing, and squeezing in life in twenty minute increments throughout the day. If you want to receive the posts directly in your email inbox, just leave your email address in the box on the sidebar, and subscribe so you don’t miss a post!
I’ll share photos every day, some of them good, and some of them mediocre, because baby leaves me little time to worry about taking and editing the perfect photos.
I’ll also be sharing my daughter’s thoughts, as dictated to me telepathically while she nurses, because she has informed me that she is a mind ninja, and I am merely her portal to the outside world.
Today I’d like to introduce you to my sister. Sometimes I wonder if she is just another mom-lady in a smaller body, the way she dotes on me and refers to me over and over as “her baby.”
I think I’m going to like this girl they call “Tia.” I’ve heard her mention several times that she can’t wait until I’m older so she can fix my hair and teach me to put on make up (which is actually a bit frightening, honestly. The other day she and a friend gave each other makeovers, and if that’s how she intends to do my make up, I think I’ll just stick to the natural look, thankyouverymuch.)
Tia also promises to teach me gymnastics, which is totally radical because from what I hear, she is pretty awesome at the sport. I went to her meet last weekend and watched her win first place All Around, so I know first hand how awesome she is.
(And by “watched her win” I assume you all understand that I mean “slept through her win.” I’m an infant, people. I can’t be expected to care or take interest in anything you all are doing. If it doesn’t involve food or sleep, I’m pretty much checked out.)
Anyway – I’m certain that this Tia is going to be one of my idols. I intend to follow her everywhere she goes, and ask her constantly to play with me. I’m sure she’ll love that. Yes. Yes, she will. She won’t ever tire of playing with me, or grow annoyed with my constant presence. She will rush home from school every day and willingly and gratefully sit-down to play with me for hours on end.
In fact, it’ll probably become annoying to me after awhile. I’ll beg her to leave me alone and give me peace because she’ll just want to be with me every spare moment of the day.
I’m quite confident of that.
Wait…why are you laughing?!
This month, I’m linking up with The Nester for this 31 Day series as I survive the newborn haze of sleepless nights, endless nursing, and squeezing in life in twenty minute increments throughout the day. If you want to receive the posts directly in your email inbox, just leave your email address in the box on the sidebar, and subscribe so you don’t miss a post!
I’ll share photos every day, some of them good, and some of them mediocre, because baby leaves me little time to worry about taking and editing the perfect photos.
I’ll also be sharing my daughter’s thoughts, as dictated to me telepathically while she nurses, because she has informed me that she is a mind ninja, and I am merely her portal to the outside world.
I’d like to take the next couple of days to tell you a little about my older brothers and sister. There are definite pros and cons to being the baby in a family like mine, particularly when your siblings are so much older.
The cons lie mostly in the fact that those people are freaking loud! And they have loud toys. Mom-lady seems like the type to prefer her babies to take long naps every day, but fat chance of that happening with the siblings and their friends constantly banging around the house.
The pros to having such older siblings far outweigh the cons, though.
Take, for example, my biggest brother, Sloan. He’s pretty awesome. I have a feeling I’m really, really going to like him a lot. Plus, I heard mom-lady mention the other day that by the time I’m in kindergarten, Sloan will be able to drive. I’m going to make sure that I get him wrapped around my little finger early on. I’ll bat my eyelashes at him and tell him how awesome he is so he’ll take me wherever I want.
Ice cream dates every night for me, folks!
Of course, this is my secret plan. Don’t tell him I plan to manipulate him this way, okay? I want him to think it’s his idea, not mine.
I’m not at all concerned with pulling this manipulation off, either. You should see the way he croons over me right now. Honestly, he’s like the baby whisperer. When he holds me, I get all snuggly and warm and I can’t help but feel a little more calm. I especially love it when he gives me a bottle. It makes my heart so happy.
I don’t understand, though, why he won’t change my diaper.
So strange.
This month, I’m linking up with The Nester for this 31 Day series as I survive the newborn haze of sleepless nights, endless nursing, and squeezing in life in twenty minute increments throughout the day. If you want to receive the posts directly in your email inbox, just leave your email address in the box on the sidebar, and subscribe so you don’t miss a post!
I’ll share photos every day, some of them good, and some of them mediocre, because baby leaves me little time to worry about taking and editing the perfect photos.
I’ll also be sharing my daughter’s thoughts, as dictated to me telepathically while she nurses, because she has informed me that she is a mind ninja, and I am merely her portal to the outside world.
You’re sleeping peacefully, wrapped tightly in someone’s warm, comforting arms. You dream of that place – that perfect Utopia from which you recently came. The place where it was always dark, always calm, always warm and quiet.
It was your own little Garden of Eden, and it follows you in your dreamiest state of being.
Then WHAT THE WHAT?!
Suddenly you’re laid on a hard surface and stripped naked, and the air pricks at your skin like tiny needles. You scream in protest, and also as an outward curse of the fall of mankind.
Then mom-lady and her sidekick known as your sister dip you in a tub of water, and despite your wails of protest they insist on wiping you down from head to toe with this water, which honestly is kind of nice, but is also terrifying because MINUTES AGO YOU WERE IN THE DREAMY GARDEN OF EDEN AND NOW YOU MIGHT DROWN IN LAVENDER SCENTED WATER WHILE YOUR MOM AND SISTER LOOK ON IN AMUSEMENT!
And now you know what bath time feels like to a newborn.
This month, I’m linking up with The Nester for this 31 Day series as I survive the newborn haze of sleepless nights, endless nursing, and squeezing in life in twenty minute increments throughout the day. If you want to receive the posts directly in your email inbox, just leave your email address in the box on the sidebar, and subscribe so you don’t miss a post!
I’ll share photos every day, some of them good, and some of them mediocre, because baby leaves me little time to worry about taking and editing the perfect photos.
I’ll also be sharing my daughter’s thoughts, as dictated to me telepathically while she nurses, because she has informed me that she is a mind ninja, and I am merely her portal to the outside world.
This month, I’m linking up with The Nesterfor this 31 Day series as I survive the newborn haze of sleepless nights, endless nursing, and squeezing in life in twenty minute increments throughout the day. If you want to receive the posts directly in your email inbox, just leave your email address in the box on the sidebar, and subscribe so you don’t miss a post!
