I could label it unpreparedness, or perhaps the scattered brain of a creative. I could call myself unorganized, or better yet – unfocused. I could blame it on pregnancy (I get to use that excuse for two more months), or I could simply call it confusion (kids kill brain cells? Can I say that? Is that even a scientifically verifiable fact?)
What it all boils down to is this: Most of the time, I don’t have things together. I’m betting you don’t, either.
From the outside looking in, it may seem I’ve got life in order. For the most part, my children are somewhat put together. My house isn’t a pit of horrors (not today, anyway), and 90% of the time we get to where we need to be on time.
And by “on time,” we all understand that I mean within 10 minutes of when we were supposed to be there.
But I’m not going to lie: I often feeling like I’m barely keeping my head above water. I’m treading fast, kicking against a current that wants to pull me down, and while I suck in deep breaths, forcing oxygen to my brain, I remind myself over and over to enjoy this. Enjoy the heck out of this life, cause it’s the only one you get.
It’s the whole “Seize the Day” mentality. I’m seizing.
I’ve got the flippin’ day by the tail, my friends. Tally-Ho!
But I get tired, and my metaphors start blending together, and I fall short. I snap at my kids, and I throw my hands in the air with exasperation over silly little things. I fight the urge to hole up in a corner with my phone and lose myself to the false reality of Instagram and Facebook, because I know that most of the pretty photos on those sites are filtered to make life look like sunshine and bunnies all the time.
Summer is coming to a close, and a part of me is so sad. 88% of the time I really do love having my kids around. They’re fun, and they make me laugh. They’re a lot of work, but as hectic as the days get, I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Part of me is doing back flips, though.It’s the subconscious part of me that’s not 52 months pregnant.
I’m overwhelmed with all the small people that filter through my house on a constant basis. They’re tired of one another, and they, too, end up exasperated over silly little things. The constant go-go-go of our days has me exhausted, but there’s no time to nap. No rest for this weary Mom.
So the scheduled days of school will be welcomed with both reluctance and jubilee…by everyone in our house.
Such is life, right?
There are pro’s and con’s to every season. Each phase leaves us excited and exhausted, ready to move forward and longing to stay where we are. Sometimes we even wish we could revisit the past, just for a few precious moments in time.
For those of you winding down your summer and preparing to step into the future with your kids, I share your pangs of sorrow and your whoops of joy. If your summer was anything like ours, it was packed full of fun, of time together, and of a hearty dose of relaxation. It truly was a summertime with an agenda packed full of awesome.
I raise my proverbial glass in a toast to you parents now. Let us tip back our drinks in celebration. Let us commiserate the passage of time. Here’s to another fabulous school year.
On the stretches of highway between Florida, Tennessee, and Arkansas, I devoured the Divergent series. Because I aim to stay a solid 18-24 months behind the curve of pop culture, I decided it was time to see what all the fuss was about.
Every hour and a half, my eleven year old leaned forward, his hot breath all up in my ear.
“Whatcha think of it, Mom?” he asked. “Can I read that series? All my friends at school have read it. Is it good? Would it be good for me to read?”
Round and round we went as I read, and he begged to follow me. About midway through Book One, I thought that maybe he could read it, or at least try to. He’s still not a strong enough reader for a book of that size, but it seemed engaging enough that he might be able to get through it.
By the end of Book One, I had enough reservations about the material that I decided we’d probably hold off on sharing this series with him. By the end of Book Two, I knew unequivocally that it would be several years before I wanted him to dive into this series.
By the end of Book Three, I was convinced that he would need to be at least sixteen before he could read these books, and even then it would be with a lot of dialogue. I had also decided that I would be more comfortable with him reading The Hunger Games trilogy before the Divergent series, namely because it is better written.
Besides the fact that I felt the Divergent series got entirely off track and confusing in its ultimate message (Just exactly was she trying to say?! There were roughly 15 potential themes covered in those books, and none of them were covered well. It was maddening and frustrating, to be quite honest), I also found the kissy-kissy relationship stuff to be over the top, over dramatic, and much too graphic for fourth/fifth graders. As I read through yet another make out session between Tobias and Tris, I couldn’t help but cringe and wonder if the parents who allowed their fourth graders to read those books last year understood the maturity of the subject matter.
We’ve had a lot of talks with our children about the necessity to protect and guard their minds lately. These talks need to start early as our kids are being exposed to more and more thanks to the onslaught of social media.
From music to books to television, our kids are introduced to concepts that are far too mature far too early. At least in my opinion. If my son is ready to dive into a fascinating and challenging series of books this year, I will gladly hand him The Chronicles of Narnia. While I love some of the Young Adult series coming out, I would rather expose my children to fine literature first, and when they’re older, if they’re still interested in reading these pop culture series, we can discuss which ones would be most worth the investment of their time.
I’m also a bit of a stickler about reading a book before you see the movie version. My kids love that about me…
Parenting is a battle. It seems that every day I am waging a war against pop culture, and the conflicting messages that culture sends to my children. I’m fighting too much exposure to the online world, too much screen time, the lyrics of popular songs. I’m battling against a world that tells them to grow up young, that tells my daughter her worth is found in how she dresses (and looks in clothing). Television shows emasculate men, while music demeans women.
This isn’t to say that we’re hard core limiting what they see and hear. On the contrary, we allow quite a bit of freedom for our children to see and hear things in this pop culture world. We don’t want to put them in a bubble. But we do want to teach them that just because something is popular doesn’t mean we need to be exposed to it.
The fact is, my kids are not ready to hear all the messages the world has to offer. They are not adults living in tiny bodies. They’re children learning to navigate their way through this world. And pop culture is not the voice I want dictating who my children become, how they think, and how they behave.
I want to challenge them to be deep thinkers, to have minds of their own, rather than to be tiny robots easily controlled by the next popular books/song/movie, etc…To that end, I’m taking my job as guardian seriously.
It’s a really, really hard job.
What are your thoughts on raising children in a land dictated by pop culture?
There is a common belief that women are not only good at multi-tasking, but we thrive on it. While I have no doubt that many women fall into this category of master multi-taskers, I’ve found that, for myself, as years go by I have become less and less deft at the art of multi-tasking. It seems that I can focus on one event at a time these days, and before I can move forward with the next momentous step, I must get through the packed days before me.
We have 28 days of summer vacation left. As always, the time has flown by and we haven’t fit in all the fun I’d intended to fit in when school ended. Perhaps this is because I always set expectations just a smidge too high?
This is quite possible.
I counted today, and there are 60 days until baby is due. That seems like it should be a long time, but considering how fast time has flown by already, I’m anticipating that the remaining two months until she arrives will be a blur.
If I sit down and think of all that needs to be accomplished in the next 60 days, or all that I still want to do in the next 28, I feel my heart race. Anxiousness sets in and I want nothing more than to hole up in a corner with a good book and pretend it isn’t happening.
Life can easily be measured in momentous events. We can move from one big thing to the next without even enjoying the moments in between. This is the danger that I face, that we all face, every single day. Will I enjoy what today has to offer, or will I get lost in the looming deadline of 28 days, 60 days, and so on…
Part of me dreads the end of this summer break. I love summer, and (most of the time) I love having my kids home with me. While a piece of me craves the routine that school brings with it, the other part of me mourns the thought of those measured out days.
Equally, I feel both anticipation and trepidation at the thought of welcoming our daughter in 60(ish) days. I can’t wait to meet her…but also I can.
There’s a lot to be done between now and then, but most importantly, my goal is not to dwell on the measured length of the days we have left. I want to enjoy today for all it has to offer. The quiet of this morning, and the laziness of today. Friends coming to town, family fun at the beach, sleepovers with friends, and late night movies.
There’s nothing I can do about the life deadlines looming before me, but I can enjoy the moments in between. I have to try, anyway. The alternative is to live from big event to big event, and all the little moments would be lost in the shuffle.
And what is life without the little moments, right?
How do you keep yourself from living from one big event to the next? How do you balance living out your days with planning for the future? What do you do when life feels measured by the days instead of moments?
I’m back. It’s been a lovely two weeks in which I’ve simply let my soul breathe. I’ve spent little time online, and much time in the very present moment with my family. I feel refreshed, excited, and inspired.
I didn’t know how much I needed the time away.
I’ve spent a lot of time pondering the creative process in our two weeks on the road. Instead of creating, I’ve thought about the simple art of creating – the act of writing, of photographing, of painting and singing. I’ve watched it and seen it and felt the power of the creative arts.
I stood at the top of the Smoky Mountains, and I marveled at the Creator’s brush strokes – the Hand that carved each path, shaped each height.
I’ve watched my children laugh and play. I’ve listened to their delight as they discovered the thrill of shooting a sling shot, exploring a creek bed, walking beneath a waterfall. I’ve gasped in motherly fear when one got too close to the edge, and tried to be cool though images of them plummeting over the side gave me more than a few heart attacks.
We spent a week in Nashville catching up with friends, both new and old. The laughter and shared life gave way to gratefulness. And not once or twice, but more times than I can count, the conversation of creativity came up. It’s not hard to find yourself amidst a group of creatives in a place like Nashville.
The town is teeming with creativity.
For those of us with a bent toward the creative arts, every day has new potential. We wake up with the longing to build, to shape and mold something out of nothing.
Song lyrics.
Stories.
Melodies.
Paintings.
Delicacies.
Decor.
It’s very real, this life of the creative. We don’t always know how to describe it, but we feel it deeply. We know that we were made to create. Some days that creative power flows freely, while other days it tends to bottle up. Life responsibilities sometimes hinder the creative process, but still it sits, waiting for us to tap in and unleash.
I used to think I was alone in this creative life. It made me feel strange, this need to sit down and write, to pen stories for no reason at all. I wondered if my passion for the written word was frivolous. It doesn’t make me much money, so what’s the point?
The point, I’m realizing more and more, is that this art of creating is my act of worship. When I write, I am in communion with my God. The rhythm of the keyboard is my praise offering to Him.
And for you, my fellow creatives, it is very much the same.
That thing you do? It’s an act of worship. You were created with a love for your art, and it is legitimate and real. What you do is a valid form of worship, so give it back freely and joyfully. Don’t be ashamed of your art, and don’t fight the urge to create. Your creative brain holds purpose in this world.
You are a mirror of the Creator Himself. So create.
I am giving myself permission to do something that I haven’t allowed myself to do in the six and a half years I’ve been blogging.
I am going to take a break.
Funny story: Last week, Lee and I decided to take a spontaneous family trip to Gatlinberg, Tennessee. We rarely take vacations just the five of us – in fact, I honestly am not sure we’ve ever taken a vacation just the five of us. Most of our trips consist of traveling with people, or traveling to see people.
The problem is, I got my dates wrong. I was certain that I made our hotel reservation for Wednesday to Sunday, with the plan being we would leave Tuesday, drive half way, and arrive Wednesday. So I’ve been frantically trying to get us packed and ready to leave tomorrow for three weeks away, because after Gatlinberg, we’re sending Tia to camp in Crossville, TN, while the rest of us go to Nashville. And from there, we’re all headed to Arkansas for a week.
Are you exhausted, yet?
I realized just this morning that our hotel reservations are actually Thursday to Sunday, which means we’re leaving a day later than planned, which kind of disappoints me, honestly. But I’m also a bit relieved because trying to pack for three weeks in three different locations was giving me palpitations.
My brain is on serious summer overload, which normally wouldn’t be too much of a problem; however, I happen to be 64 27 weeks pregnant, which means sleep is already elusive. Add to that a little stress, and this mama ends up tired and emotional.
In an effort to not throw myself into an early labor, I’m unloading a few things from my plate. I simply don’t have the mental capacity to generate decent blog content right now. As it is, I already have a few deadlines pressing down on me for other sites (the ones that actually pay me to write), and I’m in the final stages of editing my e-book, which I will hopefully get to the designer in the next few days.
So I’m going to take a couple of weeks off in this space. I’m going to breathe a little, enjoy my family, read a few books, unplug, and take in a little fresh, mountain air.
I’ll be updating on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter on occasion if you want to keep up with our family and see whether or not it really was a good idea to take a trip to the mountains at 28 weeks pregnant.
Also, Lee and I are attending a celebrity charity dinner in Nashville on Sunday night. Tune in to see what my gigantic belly looks like in a nice dress, and to see if I get to rub elbows with Carrie Underwood, or if I simply stalk her from across the room.
I’ll come back here in a couple of weeks when the dust of family fun time has settled, and I can string together a coherent sentence outside of, “Did you pack your toothbrush? What about underwear?”
In the meantime, I hope all of you are enjoying some fun in the sun this summer break. Sit back with a good book, a tall glass of iced tea (sweetened, of course), and take some time to breathe.
Creativity is just connecting things. When you ask creative people how they did something, they feel a little guilty because they didn’t really do it, they just saw something. It seemed obvious to them after a while. That’s because they were able to connect experiences they’ve had and synthesize new things.” Steve Jobs
For people prone to creative outbursts, the world can be a wildly glorious place. It’s colorful and exciting, lit with life in a way that those more prone to thoughtfulness and analytical considerations may have a hard time understanding.
Creatives can also be frustrating people.
They process the world differently, and this can making working alongside them sometimes harder to tolerate. There are different levels of creativity that people can express as well, and this works to makes each person act and react differently.
Some creatives are shy, quietly mulling each step inwardly until all the pent up energy releases in their art, be that writing, music, drawing/painting, building, and so on. These brooding creatives make us nervous. We don’t understand what they’re thinking because the thoughts all tangle tight inside, and so we watch them from afar, admire their work, and comment on their inability to hold a decent conversation.
Some of the greatest innovations of all time, the greatest works of art, have come from these brooding creatives.
Other creative types are much more engaged in the world around them. They live in it, fully and completely, abandoning themselves to the little moments. These people are usually quick-witted, funny, engaging, and can be the life of the party.
Or the center of attention.
All of us are creatives on some level. Created in the image of the Ultimate Creator, we have no choice but to give in to the creative impulses unique to each one of us.
Here are 3 Keys to Tapping into Your Inner Creativity.
1.) Learn how you individually are most creative.
Make no mistake, you are in some way a creative. Even mathematicians have a perspective that flows out of the creative nature of man’s soul. Perhaps there is more formula involved in the problem solving, but the fact remains they still had to tap into the inner mind to decipher the solution.
And you can’t tell me that the likes of Isaac Newton, Blaise Pascal, Albert Einstein (recognizing that he would probably be identified more as a physicist than a mathematician), and Galileo Galilei, who famously wrote, “Mathematics is the language in which God has written the universe,” were not all deeply creative and inventive men.
2.) Learn when you feel most creative.
Do you thrive in the quiet? Are you most thoughtful, productive and sure of yourself when you withdraw from a crowd and quiet your soul?
Perhaps it is quite the opposite. Maybe you’re the type who energizes only in a room full of people. Do you feel most alive in front of a crowd, and is laughter and raucous talk your muse?
Most deeply creative types are going to spend more time alone than in a group. There’s something about the quiet that recharges the brain. However, while some would happily spend all their time alone with only their thoughts to keep them company, there are many who need a group setting to further fuel their creative prowess. Extroverts, we would call them, as creativity comes in sound bites of conversation and entertainment.
3.) Embrace Your Creative Bent
There is power in knowing who you are and how you were created. Entertainers keep us laughing (and thinking) through their actions. Musicians feed our souls with melodies and lyrics. Artists show us the world on canvas. Writers take us into a different time and place, introducing us to new concepts, new characters, new ideas, and new ways of thinking.
Scientists take us inside the molecular space in which we reside. Mathematicians show us there is order to life and space. Inventors give us new tools. Designers help us see the space we live in in a whole new way. Businessmen (and women) link ideas and innovation in such a way that gives us structure in this world.
Parents foster a creative spirit inside the walls of their homes. Grandparents take that a step further, creating memories and filling their grandchildren with unmerited love (and perhaps a little bit of candy for good measure).
I could go on and on, but hopefully you get the point, with the point being this:
You are creative. It’s just a matter of looking in the right place to understand exactly how you were wired to tap into the creative energy with which you were designed.
For those of you winding down your summer and preparing to step into the future with your kids, I share your pangs of sorrow and your whoops of joy. If your summer was anything like ours, it was packed full of fun, of time together, and of a hearty dose of relaxation. It truly was a summertime with an agenda packed full of awesome.
